My KC papers say I'm
registered as Goldmali Kite. Stupid name.
My posh name is FENRIR. (He was a wolf. A long time
Everyone calls me FEN.
Except when they call me Oi!, Fen-Wen,
Good Dog (and sometimes Bad Dog -
I think that's just slips of human tongues) and Donkey
Ears. And a variety of other names.
Humans clearly can't make their minds up, so it's a good
job I'm smart enough
to get it when they mean me. (Which is always. Doesn't
matter if they shout Rona or any other girl name, they
I was born on the 7th of April 2015
I'm a male Malinois
(neutered, but I don't know what that means)
My dad is Mats and my mum is Penny.
This page has two purposes.
1. To let my dad see what I've been up to.
2. For all my fans to admire me.
(I know that my proper Dad doesn't think I can read or
write because I'm a dog,
but this proves him WRONG, right?)
I'm not a showdog. I'm far more
important. (Although I bet I would win ALL the shows
if I tried. Rona
says that's stupid because I have a donkey's ears
and a Greyhound's body and no
balls. She's talking rubbish. I have LOTS of balls.)
This is a ball I "borrowed" from some
I have a story to tell, about my life.
(It's all the rage now you know, for dogs to write
their life stories, but please don't compare me with
unimportant dogs like Marley. You can compare me
with that military Malinois who caught that bad
bearded bloke. Even though he's not written about
This is me with my mum Penny and all my brothers and
when we were just 2 days old. There were 12 of us.
I'm the one in the middle with the beige collar.
Here I am 3 days old.
And here I am 3 weeks old.
4 weeks old here.
Here's me and my sisters Miley (red collar) and
Lilly (pale green collar) playing with
two Papillon puppies called Mickey and Walnut. Hard
to think they were bigger than me then!
Me and Miley have got Mickey good and proper here.
Malis rule, Papillons drool!
We did a lot of things when we were growing up. Here
we're seeing a wheelchair for some reason.
The Papillons used to have little houses in the
Here I am at 5 weeks old having a sleepover in
(That's Ella the Papillon, not Ella the nice human
that I got to know later. Papillon Ella is gone
I'm 6 weeks old here.
Nearly 7 weeks old. Wasn't I cute??? And I look like
Just a week later my ears had grown, and so had I.
I was 8 weeks old . Some of my brothers and sisters
had started to move to new homes.
I was going to move too, and I was told I was going
to be a VIP (Very Important Puppy).
Mum and my first (who is now my second) human Dad
took me for a long drive in the van.
We travelled to the other end of the EARTH!
Somewhere called "DOWNSOUTH".
(This is me in my new home in the photo.)
Luckily mummy Penny travelled with me. It was a LONG
When we arrived at Downsouth we got out of the van
and met my new Dad.
Penny liked him so I did too.
My new dad was walking a bit funny, he didn't have
four legs like most humans (even though
they call their frontlegs arms) - he had SIX. Four
normal but wobbly ones
and two wooden stick ones. I was told I was going to
be trained to become an
assistance dog, because my new dad could do with
some help and some company.
People had told him he couldn't train a Malinois to
be an assistance dog, but he DID.
He taught me to do lots of fun things. We just never
got a piece of paper to say so. NOT YET!!
We went to all sorts of places to have fun. This was
called the Beach.
Here I have learnt to bow like a polite dog.
The harness means I'm doing important training.
After important training it's
important to rest.
Here's one of my favourite tricks that Dad taught me
just for fun.
I'm not showing any photos of my dad because he's a
bit shy like that.
Besides I'm better looking.
This trick is called "Poorly paw".
Look into my eyes -actually, I have to look into
Dad's eyes. That's the rule.
I learnt to fetch my Dad's sticks. This doesn't show
how I'd do it now -
now I know I have to grab it by the handle so I
don't hit anyone or anything with it.
I learnt to go and fetch my work clothes for when we
were going outside to work.
I learnt about the washing machine.
I learnt to both fill and empty the washing machine.
And I learnt to put the newly washed clothes into
the tumble dryer.
I even learnt to pull the basket full of the washed
and dried clothes back to the bedroom.
I learnt how to open and shut the gate outside, and
how to open and shut doors indoors.
Shutting them is a LOT more fun than opening them.
Here I am 10 months old. Mum came to Downsouth to
visit me and Dad.
Mum thought this was funny.
Mum came to visit more times as she and Dad became
good friends because of me.
Once she brought Rona. I thought Rona was a scary
The funny thing was, Rona didn't like balls. So Dad
and I taught her that balls are fun.
Now she plays with balls a lot.
I learnt to open the bin (you just push on the lid)
and to put rubbish in it.
I loved my Dad very, very much. I always wanted to
be close to him.
Always do the fun stuff he taught me to do.
I still want to.
Dad let me pretend I was still small enough to sit
on his lap. We always had cuddles.
We always had walks and training and playing and
work, all the time.
Dad is my best human. Malinois only ever have one
BEST human, even if we like a lot of humans.
AND THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED.
I didn't really understand why, but Dad said I had
to go and stay with Mum for a while.
I know it wasn't Dad's fault. Or mine. He wants me
to come back as soon as possible. Mum says
I will go back home, we just don't know when. I have
been back to UPNORTH for quite a long time now.
So now I have two Dads and one Mum (very modern, I'm
told), plus a lot of other people that visit.
And all my dog family of course. I don't like all of
the dog family. But I like most of my girlfriends.
I was very sad when I had to leave Dad. I didn't
want to eat or play or do anything.
But I followed mum everywhere. I still do, because
who knows if she will disappear as well!
Mum is my SECOND BEST human.
Here I am in the bathroom looking miserable, the day
after I arrived.
I felt safe being near all my toys and stuff. But
you can see I wasn't happy.
I wasn't quite sure if I was meant to be close to
Second Dad, or Mum, so I tried both.
There were Papillon puppies here again, and this
time I was a LOT bigger.
And I was a lot bigger than Mickey, who was all
grown up -and the daddy of the puppies.
Mickey said Mum belonged to HIM and keep off.
I miss my Dad. And Mickey doesn't like me near Mum.
So I'm making do with second Dad.
I'd forgotten there were cats here as well.
I started to settle down a bit after a few days
This was after I'd lived here for a month. OBVIOUSLY
I sleep in Mum and Second Dad's bed.
This is me and Ritzy. She's one of my best friends.
Her colour looks much nicer for real.
One day we went to a HUGE place called Crufts. There
were dogs and people EVERYWHERE.
And a lot of nice smells. I used to be scared of
other dogs but Rona and the others
had shown me that most dogs are nice. (Except
Mickey, we have decided we can't be friends because
he is Mum's most special dog, but I know it's ME who
is. So we had an argument.)
Oh and the human here in this picture is my Third
Best Dad -Benjamin.
Mum had a panic attack at Crufts that time but I
helped her feel better.
Mum bought me this toy at Crufts. I LOVED it. It was
a triangle with a squeaker inside it, made from fire
It was my special toy for 3 months until there was
nothing left of it.
Rona is my other best friend. She's not scary at
all! Here I'm trying to catch up with her running on
Rona in front still
I'll never catch her!
Me and Rona all tired after all that running.
This time a few more of us went to the field to run.
I'm at front, to the right.
Me in the field
This is fun!
Nice group photo:
Me, Fame (Rona's sister who now has gone to live in
something called Hamstershire), Rona and Ritzy
Dad, note this is work -it's a stay with other dogs
in a 12 acre field that isn't fenced off at all!
Rona looks silly here, not using her ears, but I
look handsome in front of the girls.
And now I'm doing a down stay -more work!
After I'd lived here for just
over 3 months I went along to a show and passed my Bronze Good
Outdoors, with people and dogs everywhere.
A few days later, we went to a fun dog show and I won the
prize for "Best trick". (Because I had the MOST tricks!)
When it got really warm, they tried to trick me
to jump inside the dog paddling pool. Just because everyone
else did it.
I'm not stupid so I picked up my toy without needing to get
I passed my Silver test a month after the
Bronze, at one of the training classes.
Ritzy had puppies not long after I moved in.
Puppies can be a bit annoying. Here is Ritzy playing with her
and new granny Rona is watching. Me, I just keep my ball safe!
Riley took LOTS of my toys and many of them had
to go in the bin after she'd finished with them.
We did play together sometimes though.
Can't get away from all these cats.
Me and Rona on guard.
Here I am at one of my training classes, doing a
Me and Ritzy. It's nice rolling on the grass.
Some shade on a hot day
Rona only went and had puppies AS WELL. And who
has to babysit??
Just because I'm the big half brother.
I only sit with mum now.
Mum brought home another cat! She says he's
important. His name is Casper Spook.
Casper used to whack me in the face with his claws when I came
near Mum, so I'd try to bite him. Neither of us would win or
In the end we figured we might as well call a truce.
No we're not in a cage, but Rona's puppies are.
Rio and I can keep watch both over the pups and over the
outside if we
stay in the window. Just don't ask how we got up there. We
weren't meant to.
And then she brings home ANOTHER cat! I give up.
This one is Cheetah and she's like Spiderman. Can walk on the
More annoying than ANYONE else though is my half
sister Bambi. There is no point to that
puppy. She's just annoying. She and Riley (Riley is my niece,
stop playing and they make SUCH a mess and such a lot of
AND they are eating the furniture. I stick to eating my bones.
Guard duty again. You can tell who I am because I'm the only
one with a collar.
Then I passed the Gold test. (I am a Goldmali, after all.)
Not all the dogs that tried passed the Gold test. These are
the ones that did that day.
Notice how Mum is the only person who forgot the certificate
for the photo!
Sometimes you just want a duvet day though.
Me and annoying little Bambi
I know everyone thinks mum has made me lazy. But I still have
an important job - to look after Mum!
Cuddling up to Rona
Sometimes there isn't much room here!
Sorry Mum, we've claimed the comfiest couch AND the fire. It's
That's Rio to my left and Rona to my right.
There is another human that visits quite a lot. His name is
Timmy and he loves me. He is a lot of fun.
I don't think he can be another dad as we are the same age, so
he's probably my brother.
Timmy and me doing a down together.
Here we do a sit. I have to show Timmy what to do, then he
Here we both stand tall
I'm very good at standing tall
This must be Dad number 4, I think. His name is Richard. He
plays rough with me and lets me lick his head.
That really annoys mum, the head licking. She tells me to give
up. Or maybe it's meant for Richard.
Back to training.
I always follow mum to the bathroom, so much so that I even
keep some toys there (no the shoes are not toys).
I open and close the door for her, of course. I run ahead and
she tells me which door to open; bathroom
And when she gets shampoo in her eyes I will fetch her a
The view from Mum's lap in the evenings. Notice the cats have
got the best spot.
When mum got the flu and had to stay in bed for AGES, she
didn't eat all her food.
So we played with it, and then I got to eat it.
Training is training, she said.
Then we went to Crufts again, and this time I had a VERY
I was working in something called Discover Dogs for one whole
Ritzy came too, and my half sister Hetty and half brother
I was the star attraction, obviously.
Working at Discover Dogs is important because you get to meet
people, and they get to meet you. And then Mum and second Dad
tell them not to get
a Malinois because they are not pet dogs and are hard work.
Whilst Ritzy and I get cuddled and stroked and admired.
We posed for lots of photos
At the end of the day Mum wanted a photo of me with the word
Crufts in the background.
So I did a sit stay, offlead, outside the entrance, and I
posed and posed so much
that another lady asked if she could take pictures too.
And a little girl asked her mummy if I was a real dog or a toy
I was good because I ignored all the people and dogs and buses
I got to ride on buses as well, but I have no photos of that.
This was a day when I had spent so much time watching the
horses outside the
living room window that I needed a little nap.
When Timmy came to see me, he wanted to take me for a walk.
He does that with his Papillons, but they are tiny.
Everyone went "Oh Fen's too strong! You will fall over Timmy!"
grabbed the lead off Mum and made me follow him and I didn't
OF COURSE I didn't pull him over.
Look how happy Timmy is, even though we didn't even go
Here I am on a nice sunny day out for a walk.
I wouldn't dream of running off.
Here I am doing a downstay in the middle of the road.
Well it's a country lane. We don't see many cars.
I'm being good
It's not a bad life.
That's my story so far, but hopefully I will have a lot more
to tell you all soon.